Know Your Tree...



 ... and by that I mean your family tree.  As a part of my doctoral studies, I did some qualitative research into my family's history with some confidence-boosting results.  I found out that I am a descendent of the Jamaican Maroons.  This knowledge restored a sense of internal strength within me, and gave me the confidence that I needed to value myself differently.  I began the process of valuing myself, less for what I could offer to others and more for what God said about me.  As a consequence, I began to notice relational patterns that relied on me carrying a heavier burden than necessary, and I began to resent the imbalance of work and lack of reward.

Domestic abuse has historically been seen as the tangible detriments imposed on one spouse.  The more current understanding helps us to take a deeper look at the consequences of patterns of behaviour for ourselves and our children.  The ability to trust our gut should never be underestimated, but alongside instincts we should do the uncomfortable work of finding out about any historical patterns of abuse in our families; the mindsets that tolerated them, and then do the internal work to change those mindsets.

Escaping domestic abuse begins on the inside.  When you recognise that something is wrong and you start looking for a way of escape, start by taking a good look at your village.  You may not be able to tell anyone what's going on, but you will be able to identify who your allies are, and who will be able to offer you emotional, financial, spiritual or physical refuge, as and when needed.  

Now that I'm free, I am intentionally positioning myself as a part of your village.  Taking steps to be free from domestic abuse requires wisdom, courage and spiritual sensitivity.  I pray that God will do for you, what He did for me and my children.  I pray that He will make you unquestionably free!

💜

Dr. Monica is available to meet your learning organisation's training and consultancy needs. Contact her at vineacademy2024@gmail.com.

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