Know Your Village

 

A marriage is definitely between two people, however the journey from singleness to marriage should be a community affair.  My previous experience of singleness to an abusive marriage could have left me bitter about being let down by my village.  In addition, I could choose to focus on the members of my village who let me and my children down, in the aftermath of my divorce.  Instead, I choose everyday to forgive the people that saw red flags where I didn't, and silently watched me walk into fire and brimstone.  I also choose to forgive those who heard my cries during the marriage and shortly after it, and left my children and I to wallow and then heal unaided.

I choose to forgive because it is ultimately the best way, but also because for every person that neglected us, didn't believe us or genuinely forgot about us, there were countless others who checked up on us, listened to us and prayed for us daily.  The Village came through, not as we expected it to but in the way that we needed it to.  We were scaffolded to freedom.  When we needed support, there was always someone.  And that is what I'd like you to take away from this blog.  There is always someone.  You may need to search for a bit; you might even get rejected, cancelled or ignored, but keep trying because there will always be someone in your network that you can call, text or visit who will be specifically aligned to give you just what you need, when you need it.

Shout Outs: you know who you are.

1. For sending me beautiful bouquets of flowers on special occasions...

2. For topping up my petty cash when it was low...

3. For the therapeutic girly chats on the phone...

4. For looking after the children while I rested...

5. For making me believe in myself again...

6. For braving the motorway to come and see if we were okay...

7. For popping around just to hear me talk nonsense...

8. For so much more than I have space to write...

Thank you!

💜

Dr. Monica is available to meet your learning organisation's training and consultancy needs. Contact her at vineacademy2024@gmail.com.

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